By John Trubisz
This is one man’s opinion.Take it for what its worth…
This full text version as of 11:11 PM 6/15/97
- ACCEPT REALITY. The more you try to fool yourself about what you are, what you can do, or what is available to you, the more frustrated you’ll get.
- REGARD PEOPLE AS FORCES OF NATURE. You don’t get frustrated because you can’t change the phase of the moon, do you? Of course not. The idea is so absurd that it probably never occurred to you. Do you waste time trying to change people? Certainly, you can influence them, but it would be easier to turn the tide than to change people. The only person you can change is you. Concentrate on improving yourself.
- KNOW WHEN TO QUIT. It is a mark of intelligence to be able to change one’s mind.
- IMPROVE YOUR ASSETS AND CAPITALIZE ON THEM. Nobody is good at everything. Determine what is the best thing you can do THAT YOU CAN MAKE A LIVING AT and pursue it. Before you can do your own thing, you have to be able to support yourself.
- BE AN OPPORTUNIST. You’ll have plenty of time to cry over other peoples’ misfortunes after you’ve cashed your paycheck at the end of the week.
- BE VERSATILE. Read as much as you can about everything. Ninety-five percent of all of the species that ever existed became extinct because they could not change when the environment required it.
- LEARN TO SAY NO TO YOURSELF AND LIVE WITH IT. Develop the self-discipline to accept what you specifically do not want.
- PEOPLE RESPOND NEGATIVELY TO BEING PURSUED AND POSITIVELY TO BE ATTRACTED.
- WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER DOESN’T MEAN SHIT. What the other person cares about is what you have to offer THAT HE WANTS.
- IF YOU WANT TO FAIL TO ESTABLISH & MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP, OFFER THE OTHER PERSON MORE OF WHAT HE ALREADY HAS TOO MUCH OF AND FAIL TO OFFER WHAT HE NEEDS AND DOESN’T HAVE. This is like offering a beautiful woman another suitor or offering an ugly woman rejection.
- BE ABLE TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF AND EVERYTHING ELSE. If you lose your sense of humor toward this entire mess, you’re doomed. The planet was here for 4.5 billion years before you got here and it’ll be here for another 4.5 billion after you’re gone. What in the world can you possibly do that will make the least bit of difference when the sun turns into a red giant and incinerates the earth? People won’t even remember Adolf Hitler in another century. Who will remember any mistakes you make? Things seem so serious only because they’re happening to you here right now. Step back. Change your perspective. Try to lighten up.
- LEARN TO LIKE YOURSELF. You’re going to spend more time with you than with anyone else. If you can accept you, it doesn’t matter who else rejects you.
- REMEMBER THAT MOST PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS. The worst thing you can require of most people is to think. Use it to your advantage. Offer to do their thinking for them.
- RECOGNIZE THAT GUILT IS A TACTIC USED BY SICK, IGNORANT PEOPLE TO ENGINEER YOUR BEHAVIOUR. If you allow them to use it against you, then you deserve what you get. Have more respect for yourself. You’ve got a brain, haven’t you? Most of these people are parrots who are just dumping onto you the same bullshit that was dumped onto them when they were kids. They think using guilt is normal and correct. Just smile at them, tell them what they want to hear, and then do what you want.
- IF SOMETHING’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, THEN WHAT ELSE MATTERS?
- DON’T FORCE SOMEONE ELSE TO PAY THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR DISCONTENT. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Misery loves company. If you’re in a rotten situation, however, the most ethical, considerate, sensitive, generous thing you can do is to avoid bringing anyone else into it. Don’t ever put the responsibility for fulfilling your life onto someone else, PARTICULARLY YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN.
- EVERYTHING IS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. Pursue your interests and enjoy them. There is no celestial Big Brother who will bail you out. All the enjoyment you’re ever going to get and all the dues you’re ever going to pay will end when you die. You might just as well try to enjoy life while you can. There just isn’t any more. You may want to remember what Peter Bailey once said: “All that you can take with you is what you have given away.”
- CONCENTRATE ON PEOPLE WHO ARE WORTH YOUR EFFORT & WRITE OFF THE JERKS.
- DON’T LET PEOPLE WEIGH YOU DOWN WITH THEIR BAGGAGE. You’ve got enough problems of your own, don’t you? Who is the bigger jerk, an idiot or a person who argues with an idiot?
- RETAIN YOUR CURIOSITY. Plan ahead to avoid boredom.
- REMEMBER THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FIDELITY TO THE COUNTRY AND FIDELITY TO THE GOVERNMENT. The only thing necessary for evil people to prevail is for good people to do nothing.
- IF IT OCCURS TO YOU TO ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE HAPPY, THEN YOU’RE NOT. Do you think flora and fauna ponder their happiness? Of course not. The thought has never occurred to them. HAPPINESS IS THE SET OF CONDITIONS WHICH PRODUCES A STATE OF MIND IN WHICH IT NEVER OCCURS TO YOU TO ASK YOURSELF IF YOU ARE HAPPY. Keep yourself busy and interested in what you do and forget about whether or not you’re happy. The only people who are happy all the time are idiots. Who wants to be constantly happy anyway? What’s wrong with feeling other emotions? If everybody was always happy, nothing would ever get accomplished. Even if you’re not happy, discipline yourself to be satisfied with what you’ve got.
- YOU CAN EARN A LIVING IF YOU CAN DO ONE OF THREE THINGS: SOMETHING NOBODY ELSE CAN DO, SOMETHING NOBODY ELSE WANTS TO DO, OR SOMETHING NOBODY ELSE THOUGHT TO DO.
- WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY & IT IS US. Forget about the communists and the terrorists. They’ll never get the opportunity to bury us. Right now, the army that will ultimately destroy American society is being bred into existence by a large segment of our own population while the rest of us are either ignorant of the threat or too complacent to care. As long as we allow our government to not only condone but to encourage individuals as well as institutions to be irresponsible we’re doomed.
- IN AMERICAN SOCIETY, FRIENDSHIP IS VERY MUCH UNDERRATED AND LOVE IS VERY MUCH OVERRATED. When the chips are down, it’s your friends who will stand by you, not your past lovers. If you work at it you may find a friend and lover in the same person. If you want your marriage to last, you must marry your best friend.
- YOU WILL NEVER FIND EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN ONE PERSON. Accept the fact that you need other people and anyone who is your friend should be able to accept your requirement also. The other side of the coin, of course, is that you should be able to accept that in your friends as well.
- THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SECURITY. Stop lying to yourself about it. Stop lying to others about it. Stop allowing others to get away with lying to you about it. Just because it is something you may want to hear desperately, that does not make it true. You have to fly by the seat of your pants through life for all of your life. The only person you can count on to always be there whenever you need him is you. I hope for your sake that you’re a person you can rely upon.
- YOUR EMOTIONAL AND, PERHAPS, PHYSICAL & FINANCIAL SURVIVAL DEMAND YOU DEVELOP THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE & AVOID EGOTISTS.
Egotists are solitary predators. They only form partnerships when each one feels it improves his ability to prey upon the herd of people who are gullible.
Because each one recognizes his tactics in others, they never pair up and, in effect, neutralize each other. An egotist will only marry someone he can manipulate.
An egotist will use any tactic to manipulate you: lies, guilt, charm, anything. He relies heavily on the ability to convince you that arrogance is confidence. He considers tolerance, patience, generosity and any other virtues as weaknesses to be exploited. To him, he is the only person alive on this planet. Everyone else is simply a resource to be used as he sees fit. The only crime he can commit is to exploit others insufficiently. He hates people.
Since he does not have one, you can never appeal to his conscience. An egotist defines right as anything he wants and wrong as anything different from what he wants. Since he is not rational, he is never impressed by rational argument.
An egotist does not want to change. Never feel sorry for him. Never try to help him. Never try to change him. He will simply consider you a fool and use your effort against you until you have become ensnared in a degenerating spiral of self-destruction. YOUR SURVIVAL COMES FIRST! Just lick your wounds, tuck your tail between your legs, and get the hell away from him. NO MATTER WHAT HE PROMISES YOU, BAIL OUT! There is nothing you can get from an egotist that will be worth the price you will have to pay for it.
Perhaps the one redeeming quality of an egotist is that he will hand to you the tools you’ll need to defend yourself against him. Just reflect his behavior and force him to deal with himself. Be just as selfish and irrational as he is. Use the same rhetoric he uses. You’ll feel like a jerk doing this but that’s what he’ll understand. To an egotist, be an egotist.
And stop making excuses for an egotist. Oh, no, that couldn’t be my wife or my girlfriend. People just don’t understand her, right? Bullshit! The Arabs have a saying: if one man says your a horse, you can disregard it, but if ten men tell you that you’re a horse, then you’d better turn around and look for a tail. If an animal looks like a mad dog and sounds like a mad dog, and acts like a mad dog, THEN IT IS A MAD DOG. If you’re stupid enough to think that it would never bite you, then go ahead and pet it. While it’s busy drinking your blood, I’ll be that much safer.
- ITS BETTER TO HAVE IT & NOT NEED IT THAN TO NEED IT & NOT HAVE IT.
Many people think that just because violence is not the answer to everything then it cannot be the answer to anything. That’s a pile of crap. There are circumstances in which total, vicious, remorseless, unrelenting, focused, efficient violence is the correct response. For example, if saving your child’s life required you to kill, could you do it? Would you do it? Could you live with yourself knowing that your child was counting on you for help and you chose to allow him to die?
Learn how to fight. Learn how to use firearms. Civilization is a pretty thin veneer.
- RELIGION IS MASS PSYCHOSIS. People who are religious must intentionally desire to remain ignorant. They are so egotistical that they cannot accept the idea that there are natural phenomena which not only they can not understand but which may well be beyond human understanding. They are so immature that they believe that reality depends on what they want: i.e., if they want something to be true, then that makes it true. They can’t stand the idea that there exist questions for which we may never have answers & they think that that gives them carte blanche to make up any bizarre supernatural civilization they fancy to explain nature & then pass their daydream off as equally credible as a scientific theory.
I think it is tantamount to child abuse to intentionally instill feelings of inferiority, insecurity, inadequacy, superstitious fear, & guilt in a child for the purpose of controlling him.
Drugs are abused to distort reality for the addict. Religion does the same thing. How can we pretend to deplore the use of chemicals which harm the individual & the society but encourage philosophies which produce the same results?
As the Republican Party is taken over by the New Christian Coalition, remember that THEOCRACY IS NOT DEMOCRACY. When did you get to vote for who your parish priest would be? Did you vote for the Pope? If enough people want to rewrite the ten commandments, will the Christian denominations change them?
We are headed for a new Dark Age of anti-intellectualism. Our founding fathers we painfully aware of the danger but I fear that Americans today are too complacent. Buckle your seat belt. The witch hunts aren’t over yet.
- IT SHOULD BE JUST AS DIFFICULT TO GET MARRIED AS IT IS TO GET DIVORCED. To paraphrase G. B. Shaw: getting married requires two people to make the most important decision of their lives when they are the least capable of making a sound decision.
- IT SHOULD BE JUST AS DIFFICULT TO LEGALLY PRODUCE A CHILD AS IT IS TO LEGALLY ADOPT A CHILD. If you and your spouse want to adopt a kid, there’s no end to the beaurocratic red tape in order to show that you qualify as good parents. Why do we assume that just because two people can function biologically, that they qualify automatically as good parents?
The people who contribute to society the least breed the most prolifically. Of these people, some are receiving public assistance in some form. Why do I have to subsidize some moron’s libido? Did you know that New York State is one of 19 states that pays for fertility drugs for welfare recipients? Are we actually that far out of our minds?
The money we pay these people is just the tip of the iceberg. Even if they are benign, what is the total cost to society for the stewardship of an exponentially increasing horde of unemployables? And if they are not benign, how much does the damage they produce cost? What price tag do we put on the degenerating quality of life we all must endure? What is the worth of the havoc they cause or the lives they destroy? What are the repair bills after the bull has left the china shop?
If it makes sense to pay farmers not to grow crops, then it makes sense to pay teenage girls not to get pregnant. Instead of paying welfare mothers more each month for each kid that they have, let’s take that money and pay teenage girls each month for each kid that they don’t have. Instead of paying millions (perhaps billions, I don’t know) of dollars each year to sustain those that have preyed upon society, we should bring back the CCC and press convicts into service. They should not only have to pay for their own keep but they should have to pay restitution to the rest of us for the problems they’ve caused. That would not be cruel and unusual punishment. The way the system works now, we are the ones who are suffering the cruel and unusual punishment and we’re the innocent ones! That money should also be used to subsidize teenage girls. We have to give them a stake in society. We have to give them at least the same opportunities to determine their own destinies as males have. By the time they graduate from high school, they could already have their college tuition or the down payment for a house.
The way the system works now, the gravy train begins when they *censored* up. We have to put these young women in a situation where the gravy train ends when they *censored* up.
Our tax laws need to be changed. Every year, I’m penalized for not having kids. It should be just the other way around.
- WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY AND IT IS US (PART 2). We all know about American students being at the bottom of the acedemic barrel compared to other nations when it comes to science and math. Of course we are. Any rational person would expect that.America is in the same position now that Spain was inafter the discovery of the New World. There was no need for Spain to develop its own technology. They had so much money pouring in that they could buy whatever they wanted. Thats whats happening to us. The domestic population is too affluent and too complacent to be concerned with the fact that we have the technology but we’re running out of people who know how to run it.So what if American society doesn’t emphasize science and math? Let’s make the comparison in the fields that we do emphasize. I can see George Bush now proudly making an announcement: American students are first in the world in civil rights activism. Our kids are first in the world in liesure studies. They’re first in the world in knowledge of their individual rights. Our kids are first in the world in ignorance of their civic duties. They’re first in the world in positive self image even if they have accomplished nothing to deserve it. They’re first in the world in putting themselves first.
- “NOT WITH A BANG, BUT A WHIMPER” I think that for the great majority of people, life is mundane at best and unrelentingly brutal at worst. They’re not interested in prolonging it. A lot of people spend their lives trying to avoid their lives. They’re desperately trying to find Jesus. They smoke and drink and take drugs. If people don’t even care about themselves, how concerned do you think they’re going to be about someone else? And how much futher down the list of priorities will be things like saving the rain forests?
I think that most people simply don’t care whether or not life succeeds on this planet.
- LIFE IS LIKE AN EGG CARTON Pretend that you’re an ant on the bottom of an egg carton. It’s mostly peaks with narrow but steep depressions in between. If you want to get across the carton, the trick is to get from peak to peak without getting stuck in any of the depressions. For some people, life is a series of terrific experiences which can continue as long as they don’t get snagged in relationships that hold them down.Look at the inside of an egg carton and pretend that you’re ant ant trying to negotiate the terrain. Now its mostly depressions with only a few peaks. Trying to get from peak to peak is like trying to cross the desert. It’s mostly horrendous and you spend all of your time just trying to survive from one oasis to the next. For some people, life is a series of depressions which can continue until they establish relationships that hold them up.The bit of irony here is that one ant’s depressions are the other ant’s peaks and visa versa. The bit of irony here is that the relationships some people specifically try to avoid are precisely the relationships other people are trying to establish.
Other considerations compounds the issue. I think that a woman, in general, hopes for the one man who will fulfill all of her desires and that a man, in general, hopes for all women to fulfill his one desire.
For some people, producing children signifies the beginning of what could be the most fantastic relationship of their lives and for other people, having children signifies the end of what could have been the most fantastic relationship of their lives.
Never the twain shall meet.