On the way home from work today I stopped in Borders to buy a movie. I happen to like movies of the 30s, 40s, and 50s and have a special fondness for musicals so tonight’s purchase was An American in Paris with Gene Kelly. Great flick, but tonight’s story is not about movies. I knew I had no beer in the house, so because it’s convenient I stopped in a local 7-11.I actually went out of my way a bit, only a city block or so North to go to the 7-11 on the westbound side of the highway because I know they usually have Foster’s oilcans in the fridge. The one on the eastbound side never does.

Once inside I’m uncomfortable, as i always am in these stores. The pace is too quick, there’s no “lingering” over the counter, once you’re on line theres no time to think or talk to the counter person, even for pleasantries. You’re expected to ante up for the awful garbage they pedal really quickly as if they’re afraid you’ll come to your senses and go to the supermarket to get some decent food.

As I stand in line I think about all the things that really bother me about 7-11: The fact that it operates essentially as a place where you can buy all of your legal drugs. In the morning, lines of construction workers and day laborers queue up to fix themselves their morning dose of caffeine and grab a couple of packs of outrageously priced cigarettes. They jostle in the line shuffling their feet with great impatience as eager as I usually am to get the hell out of the place. I can understand the cigarettes, I mean, people don’t grow and roll their own tobacco, but can’t these guys fix themselves a cup of coffee at home? It’s got to be cheaper than getting it here. I wonder if they do, and it’s just that it doesn’t last them all the way to work. Personally i can’t have more than a cup or i get jittery and my heart starts beating funny. If you don’t like drinking coffee but still need the caffeine fix, you can get your dose in pill form they have about 4 different varieties. I won’t even get into the racks of candy, potato chips, cakes, donuts and other varieties of fat laden, supra-sodium snacks they offer.

At night there aren’t too many people buying coffee, except for the cops and truck drivers. Instead, hordes of miserables line up for their 40 ounce fixes, and tonight I am one of them. I imagine if they ever legalize cannabis, 7-11 will be there to install Quik-Serve pot machines. On friday night its the lost souls. I try to wait patiently as some guy buys lotto ticket after lotto ticket until his money runs out and he is fumbling for change to pay for all the other garbage he has piled on the counter. The clerk is rushing him along and people behind me are making noises. The whole transaction takes less than a minute, but in 7-11 time thats an eternity. I think about the fact that 7-11 serves as a legal gambling house as well.

The movie watched, one of the oilcans drunk and both kids sleeping, I get on the net to look up the history of 7-11. Although I only skimmed, it seems that its now a mostly Japanese owned business! Its international (I used to think it was just a NY thing), and growing. Seeing the “store locator” link on the site, I decided to see how many 7-11s there are within a 5 mile radius of my house. Can you guess? I bet you said 3. 5? That’s what I thought, but boy was I wrong - there are 15! Now that’s my definition of too damn convenient.