Am I attention deficit?
Although I had never seriously considered the question, largely because I never really believed that ADD existed, lately I have been wondering if I might actually suffer from this affliction! I find that I always have a lot of projects that I am interested in, I start them, and they get put aside for another bunch. I may get back to an individual project, but invariably I must relearn a large amount of the stuff over again just to get to the point where I gave up on it the last time! Why am I thinking about this? I have noticed that Cathy will work on a project to death, single-mindedly and by the time it is accomplished, she’s become pretty much an expert at it, reading everything she can get on the topic, investigating, researching. I can get something done certainly, but I am easily bored by it, and drop interest for something else as soon as it looks like I’ve had even a modicum of success. Why not pursue it further and strive for expert? I suppose I’ll have to ponder that sometime, but I have so many other things right now…
I don’t fidget really, though I wish I did because I have read you can actually lose some weight if you fidget all the time, but there are other signs of ADD: I get easily upset for one. I used to really lose my temper pretty easily, although I think I have that one under control now (I would probably have been fired a long time ago if I hadn’t). I get nervous in crowds, almost to the point of paranoia. To say the least it keeps me from having a good time when there are a lot of other people around. I’m not sure if this has always been the case or if it just got worse after 9-11, in retrospect I know now that I was really affected by that event, though I had no direct experiences. Cathy says I’ve always been a bit anti-social (I wonder if running an open weblog dispells that theory?). I would have to admit that a lot of the time I’m just irritable, which upon reflection is basically just me blaming the world for the day’s latest perceived injustice.
I took an admittedly unscientific online ADD test here:
http://psychcentral.com/addquiz.htm
It basically suggested counseling, but then I always felt that psychology had more in common with ‘Druidism’ than science for all the science behind it. I think I will prescribe my own medicine: more doses of creative behavior including writing, drawing, singing and playing instruments. More walks on the beach and time with the kids. I’m taking another vacation! This time I plan to take time out and watch for meteors during the Perseids!
Comment posted on 8-1-2003
Awe man, I\’m like that too. Except certain things I really lock on to and work on like a madman. Actually, those things wax and wain also, but they\’re more so reoccuring.
As far are the anger thing goes, although you said it wasn\’t a problem anymore, I\’d point here:
http://www.serve.com/cmtan/Dhammapada/pairs.html
Cool blog!
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Comment posted on 8-3-2003
There\’s definitely some wisdom there, but I always think to myself, \"couldn\’t they figure out how to say the same thing more concisely?\" I mean, they repeat the whole sentence in the negative! Example: 1. Even as rain penetrates an ill-thatched house, so does lust penetrate an undeveloped mind. 2. Even as rain does not penetrate a well-thatched house, so does lust not penetrate a well-developed mind. I mean, doesn\’t that just follow? Note: I picked the one about lust because it was short, don\’t read into this too much.
Another thought on anger from Gandhi:
\"I have learned through bitter experience the one supreme lesson to conserve my anger, and as heat conserved is transmuted into energy, even so our anger controlled can be transmuted into a power which can move the world.\"
— from \"Gandhi the Man\", by Eknath Easwaran
Comment posted on 8-3-2003
I don\’t like the way on this blogger that when I go to reply your post is not on my screen anymore… makes it hard to cut and paste or reference back to it. Any way to change that?
<Non Prophet Preach>
Yeah, Buddhist text repeats itself a lot. The reason is for clarity. It\’s all a bit obvious… but it means to drive a point home. It takes more time to read and gives the reader more time to think about it. They also don\’t really say the same thing… but the very obvious complete opposite.
Nobody can truly understand the Dhamma by reading it either. You can understand it conceptually.. but it has to be experienced to really know it.
An analogy to this is would be:
\"Starving is painful.\"
Now I know that to be true and I have an understanding of it… but my understanding of it is my perception of what real starvation is, and is probably quite unlike the actual experience of starving.
If I were to actually starve the meaning of that phrase would take on quite a different meaning.
</Non Prophet Preach>
love your blog!
Comment posted on 8-3-2003
From non-prophet:
I don’t like the way on this blogger that when I go to reply your post is not on my screen anymore… makes it hard to cut and paste or reference back to it. Any way to change that?
I know exactly what you mean. I had gotten used to being able to see everything while posting from your site, so having it all go away when the posting window comes up is annoying. I had just decided to “right click” on the reply to comment and open it in another tab (though I don’t know how you would do this on the original story, since its a button!). I posted a question about it on the min geeklog site, and I’ll get back to you on that!
Comment posted on 8-3-2003
cool. I\’m sure it\’s something they will change soon. Unless they have ADD and can\’t focus well enough to get it done.
(notice my seguay to being on topic)
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Comment posted on 8-3-2003
A true professional! More evidence that you are the consummate blogger includes the confession of a co-worker of mine who said she stopped by my site (out of kindness, I\’m sure) and found many more stories of interest on YOURS! (Personally I think she has ADD and couldn\’t concentrate on mine very long
HaHA! Back at ya!
Comment posted on 8-5-2003
I\’m enjoying your blog very much and I rarely read my own.
Actually, I haven\’t had very much time to post to it recently.
Comment posted on 8-6-2003
Well, according to your online test I might have \"Moderate ADD\" and like you, might benefit from counseling. I never considered that I might have ADD. Me? I am not sure how much weight I\’d put on the test. What is the ratio between the number of people who take the test and the number of people who score with moderate to high ADD?
Maybe I\’m being closed minded!?
Comment posted on 8-6-2003
I think its safe to be suspicious of the motivations behind a test administered by a firm that sells the services you\’ll need to purchase if you fail it. I would lend more credence to a test given by a third party who is only paid to administer the test itself.
That said, I think that our American culture breeds this kind of inattention and that we are all sufferers to some degree. If that is true, then psychologists like the one offering this \"helpful\" exam are treating the symptom and not the disease.